I’m usually proud to be British (well, European - at a push, Scottish) but today - having watched the London 2012 segment of the Beijing 2008 Olympics closing ceremony - I’m not. I’m actually embarrassed and very sorry that we inflicted what we did on the world. Let’s get started shall we…

Note to London 2012 organizers, we so need one of those totalitarianism regime ‘make our flag look awesome’ wind blowing flag poles.

London Mayor, Boris Johnston, was elected into office on the promise that he’d remove the disliked ‘bendy’ buses from the streets of London. It was more or less the single policy promise he made so I guess it is fair that there be one London red bus in out segment.

Oh, another bus. This is the London segment of the Olympic Closing ceremony and not and advertisement for Transport for London, right?

Not another bus. Isn’t London not famous for it’s iconic Underground system and not it’s buses? Oh well, let’s just be thankful it is an animation and they didn’t ship a red bus all the way to China.

I spoke too soon. Since when did London buses have blacked out ‘gansta’ windows?

I’m singing in the rain… just waiting for a big red London bus. Okay, whatever.

Don’t come to London, our public transport is over crowded and people will stand on you in a desperate attempt to gain access to the buses (which by the way are red and really cool and completely unique to London).

Sharing is caring. Aww…

Look, it is a British person doing what we do best - walking on top of the rest of the world! Remember the Empire? We used to own you all, bitches!

Look, the bus has turned into a hedge. Very boring.

It’s an orange person. No idea who…

And for some diversity, a token old guy.

David Beckham, finally someone I recognize. Does anyone know when he last actually played football?

And out the go (on a bus (covered in a hedge)).

Anyway, thank goodness it is all over. I think I might take a holiday come July/August 2012. If you found this post lacking content and too sarcastic, check back a little later today. when I’ll dig a little deeper into the world’s response to our eight minutes in Beijing.

Maybe I’ve been too hard on ‘Team GB’ - let me know your take in the comments.