I’ve decided to start smoking. Don’t worry mum, I intend to quit as soon as Dundee NHS board start paying me £12.50 a week. The good people over at the Scottish Government in partnership with NHS Tayside are going to pay people £12.50 a week to give up the bad stuff. That’s right, money for not doing something.

Under the new scheme aimed at weening Scots off fags, participants will undergo a weekly weekly carbon monoxide breath test to prove that they haven’t been smoking. Passing the test gets you £12.50 credited to an electronic payment card for you to waste on fresh food and groceries (excluding tobacco and alcoholic). The trial is set to last for 12 weeks so all things considered, less the expenses of starting smoking (about £7.50 say) the £142.50 profit is worth the bother.

I heard that if the trail is successful, the payments would continue for 24 months, meaning the total bribe would be around the £1000 mark. So here is the deal Mr Scottish Government, if you don’t pay me £12.50 a week (I take cash, cheque and all major credit cards) I’ll start smoking! I’ll be waiting for a cheque in the mail…

What do you think about this scheme? Tell me in the big box marked ‘comments’ below…